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can be said about me is, I suppose, I was just ordinarily spoiled. I believe the greatest tragedy to me ds. a child, and something which no doubt was responsible for many of my later actions, occurred when my mother divorced my father. When I was seven mother remarried. And soon after my parents' divorce my father had remarried also. So I had a mother, a father, a stepmother, and a stepfather If the real truth were known, I do not suppose either parent actually wan.ed me at the time, for there was a period in which 1 lived with my ma.ernal grandmother.

At the age of 20 I enlisted, a year before Pearl Harbor. Later I was discharged from service because of injuries received in combat.

My marriage was to a girl from my home state. Six years later we were divorced. We had one child whom I still help support. I have many pleasant memories of my marriage to Connie She was physically beautiful, mentally alert and an all around, well adjusted person-"one in a miilion". There were many features about our union which should have made for an ideal marriage in anybody's book. Perhaps it would have lasted indefinitely if I had had a different emotional makeup. For some unknown reason I never could bind myself down to the fact that I was married, and that certain basic responsibilities were expected of me. What appeared to be a simple job of settling down to what is daily routine for most married couples we knew became a monstrous task for me. I was like a man in quick sand. The more I struggled the. deeper I sank. I wanted my wife; I didn't want my wife. I was jealous of my wife; I wasn't jealous of my wife I loved my wife on the one hand, while on the other I hated her. Sometimes I wished she would leave me. At other times I was afraid she would.

Two years after we were married a son was born. Over and over I told myself this would be the answer to what I was seeking. Isn't it true that children will hold a marriage together above all things? Now ! would have something to work for something to live for.. But I came to realize it was only an illusion that I was holding to. Month after month and year after year I withstood the emotional storms which beat and tossed and pounded within my mind until finally, like a seawall that has been battered and lashed by a tumultuous sea, I began to weaken. Then without warning I completely tore apart. I was placed in a veterans hospital, a physical and mental wreck. Gone was my spirit, gone was my will to live. I have been told there is only a thin line between sanity and insanity, no thicker than a wisp of smoke. There was no doubt on the doctor's 'part, nor on mine; that I had stepped over the line.

With the wonderful help of the staff I began to recuperate, and each day saw me a little more mentally alert. After four and a half months, I wanted to go back to my wife and child and to continue with my job. But the staff did not think I should leave at that time-I was not well enough. To their way of thinking I had not straightened out sufficiently to meet the outside responsibilities which would be forced upon me the minute I took up the oars again. But because of my insistence, and perhaps because I was a pretty good patient, they consented to let me go. Little did I realize then how right they were and how little credit 1 gave them.

Three months later I was back. This time I decided to let them be the ones to say when I would be ready to leave the hospital.

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It was while there that I met John.

It was only a casual meeting, and

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for a long time only a casual acquaintance. However, as time went on we began seeing each other more and more frequently on the grounds. Finally it was all I could do to refrain from showing great anxiety when for some reason or other hé didn't show up at our usual haunts. When I was with him I was happy. When I was without him I was miserable. It was a new and terrifying experience for me, to say the least, for I realized something was taking place within me that had never taken place before. I had actually fallen in love and there was nothing, not one thing, I could do about it. And I really didn't want to do anything about it.

Where John had had some experience in the gay life, I had none. And I had never had a homosexual experience. There were a number of times in the service that opportuni-

ties presented themselves, but for some reason or other I never took advantage of them.

One thing John and I had in .common in regard to our marriages with women was that we had loved them much in the same way that the ayerage man loves his wife. John has said many times that Florence was all a man could expect in a woman. She was faithful, a good husekeeper, and liked to have fun when the occasion demanded. And what was more important, he was sexually attracted to her as she was to him. As he once said, "If sex alone could have held us together, we would have been together today".

With his marriage, however, there was one drawback. Almost from the outset John was constantly seeking male companionship in one form or another. He had a six month "affair" with an officer in the army, he said.

SOME THINGS MONEY CAN'T BUY....

Money can't buy real friendship-friendship must be earned.

Money can't buy a clear conscience-square dealing is the price tag.

Money can't but the glow of good health-right living is the secret.

Money can't buy happiness-happiness is a mental attitude and one may be as happy in a cottage as in a mansion.

Money can't buy sunsets, songs of wild birds and the music of the wind in the trees-these are as free as the air we breathe.

Money can't buy inward peace-peace is the result of a constructive philosophy of life.

Money can't buy character-character is what we are when we are alone with ourselves in the dark. Continue the list yourself. You'll agree that among the things money can't buy are some of the most valuable treasures life has to offer. It is a good thing to check up now and then to be sure we are not missing these things.

EXCHANGE